WHAT THE COURSE MEANS TO ME
If it’s hard to describe what it feels like to fly in the Tico Belle, it’s even harder to describe what completing the BPC means to me. On one level, it’s a check in the box – something to get out of the way before moving on to a bigger goal, like Normandy. On another, it’s joining a community that’s bigger than me and my goals. It’s finding that sense of “team” that I simply don’t get in my windowless office job. It’s challenging myself to face my fears every time I get in the plane. The first line of this series wasn’t just an attention-getter. I have genuinely struggled with both a fear of heights and a fear of falling or the sensation of falling since I was a child. I don’t enjoy or ride roller coasters. Now, I have ridden in the door of a Blackhawk, fast-roped, and rappelled many times as part of previous assignments. But even those activities are not quite the same as willingly throwing yourself out the door of an airplane at 100 miles per hour.
Every time out the door took focus. It took walking myself through my training and the procedures upon exit. It took concentrating on the “one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand.” Even switching airframes required focus and mental repetition. After my three jumps from the Caravan, I had gotten more comfortable, only to get hit with the realization that my jumps the next day would be different. Anyone seeing me in my hotel room that night would have seen me sitting in a chair with my eyes closed, envisioning each step of the in-aircraft, exit, malfunction, and landing procedures that we had rehearsed during the day.
Quitting wasn’t ever a real option, so the only way through was to face the fear and move past it.
Getting my wings was a moment of pride. Maybe it’s a small thing, given what many people face daily. But for me, those wings mean recognizing a fear, facing it, and finding a way to push through it to accomplish the mission. They mean gaining access to a fellowship of likeminded individuals. They mean honoring a legacy that stretches back 86 years. And as the purpose statement says – they mean more than just a jump.
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